Our Resources

We have spent hours researching how to help our children. Below are a few of the resources that have helped us over the years. 

Adoption/Mental Health Resources

Education Resources


Foster Care Resources

  • Fosterclub – built for youth in foster care or alumni of foster care. 

Favorite Kids Books

Marriage & Relationship Resources

It turns out marriage is hard, especially when you’re raising tricky kids. The divorce rate of people who adopt is much higher than the already high rate of the general population. These are resources Shelley and her husband (so nice, she married him twice!) have used. 

Miscellaneous “Make Your Life Easier” Resources

Miscellaneous Life Changing Authors

  • Brene Brown – We both love Brene Brown. Shelley began reading Brene Brown’s books because of her shame research and ended up learning more about herself than about her kids. 
  • Pema Chodron – Shelley has read Pema Chodron’s books for 10+ years, and finds something new every time she picks one up. 
  • Glennon Doyle – Inspiring women to stop being small and take charge of their lives, because they are God damned cheetahs. 

Resources on Race for Educators

We are very thankful for the many educators who have very patiently listened when we  explained our kids’ unique needs. We are even more thankful for the teachers who told us midway through the year that they thought we were nuts when we described our kids’ behavior but had finally seen what we’d been describing! Here are the few resources we’ve found for helping traumatized kids in the classroom. We hope it grows over time, because as we ask more and more of our teachers,  this is becoming one of our country’s biggest issues. Shelley is especially intrigued by the implementation of Restorative Justice in major school districts, and the drastic reduction in suspensions those districts have seen.

Resources by State
















  • Cut it Forward – non-profit providing culturally specific hair and skin care resources for foster and adopted youth of color, and their caregivers.
  • Parents Helping Parents – Through a network of communities, Parents Helping Parents, Inc., provides education, resources, shared experiences and support to parents whose children, no matter the age, are struggling with substance use disorder.
  • Oklahoma City Community Foundation Scholarships – The Donna and Harry Kornbaum scholarship ($3,000) may give preference to those formerly in foster care; The Kirschner Scholarship Program awards scholarships in varying amounts to young people who have lost both of their parents; or live independently from their parents (examples: emergency or transitional housing, hotel/motel, vehicle, park, campground, alone or without an adult caregiver, etc.); or are currently living in foster care; or who qualify under the McKinney-Vento Act; The Oklahoma Youth With Promise Scholarship awards scholarships in varying amounts to young people who have been in the foster care system; The Dr. Edith King Mental Health Scholarship ($2,000) is for those pursuing a graduate degree that will further a career in mental health services and preference is given to applicants committed to working with juveniles or applicants pursuing degrees or certification at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center.
  • OK Independent Living Act Foster Care Tuition Waiver
  •  Foster Care and Adoption Association of Oklahoma 
  • Oklahoma City Community College Fostering Higher Education Scholarship ($1,500)










  • Attachment disorders, including Reactive Attachment Disorder. 
  • Emotional Labor – this term was originally coined in 1983 to describe the requirements of “putting on a happy face” within a job, and has since broadened to mean lots of things including the emotional labor of people of color, LGBTQ+, or people with disabilities to “fit” into society.  We use it to describe the many ways in which people raising Tricky Kids have to show one emotion while feeling something different and/or the work it takes to keep all the balls in the air. 
  • Hypervigilance – the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you. 
  • PTSD – a mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event – either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. May also include Complex PTSD
  • Tricky Kids – Stefanie coined this term. Tricky Kids are kids whose behaviors or innate characteristics make our world a tough fit for them. 

Listen on your preferred platform

Launching February 2023

Contact Us

Tell Your Story

Ask a Question

Be a guest speaker

Follow Us

Subscribe to Get Our Latest updates in your Inbox